Kamis, 29 Oktober 2009

Lillies and orchid are fake
if u look closer
your good feeling vanish
goosebumps takes control

what did i actually mean by that?
what do i after from the unnecessary break-ups?
it's all about the greatest flavor
the most wanted gland in ur body
it's the ADRENALIN

feels so good in escaping danger
cheat on your lover
bail from responsibility
it's just because the need of ADRENALIN

watching people lost
caused by our mind trick
manipulate them
to get unwanted victory
it's all empty
no purposes
no goals to achieve
it's just ADRENALIN

ADRENALIN
temptation that not worth the pain
everything becomes blurry
laughing on top of your misery
fooling yourself
but ADRENALIN rules all
erasing all boundaries
i live for you

my ADRENALIN
everything you do
DENIAL
everything you said
DENIAL
will be a fool for yourself
forever more
Trying
any kind of move
but what to prove?
DENIAL

sing a song that has no rhyme
no soul to burn tonight
just missing
the courage
to say what it's worth

and do
what they needed
to do
no turning back
saving your ego
losing faces
DENIAL
versus dilemma?

just DENY..
everything happen for a reason
and i believe a reason is based on
MULTIPLE kind of things
not one, for sure

everyone will never feel a whole
we are different in many ways
even just a slight
we are created differently
with different kind of purposes

in this mortal world
we seek through others
to find the whole-felt
of our self as a human being
the findings are randomly massive

i found that the person i hate
to be loveable
and do you know how that happen?
because that person is BLENDED
someone's completed him/her
so im starting to like him/her

but without the person that BLENDED
him/her
i dont think he/she will make me like him/her
so BLEND is all we search
to be someone, something, or anything
in this world
i believe it can completed us
at least to feel a whole
let's BLEND it

i bet dewi persik is a lot worth-watching
when glenn fredly completed her with his difference
he BLEND her
in a somekind new chemistry-based performance
to be delightful
especially for me
someone who never really know
what's dewi persik offered
to be liked or
loved eventually
i love to drive
fast
i love the rush
that pump my heart
my head

i love to drive
when the weather's bad
because it makes me glad
that i still have some gut
to focus of what i had
the road which my path

i love to drive
but i ignore the car
im not good
on keeping my car's health

but i love the ride
because it's me who drive
not an excellent driver of the stat
but it's me who i like
i love to drive
my self
do you see what happen
when you're writing?
fuzzy feeling?
eyes glazing?
nose running?
hands sweating?

for me
what happen when i write
is not thinking
nor feeling something
but
FINDING
without moving, searching or running

again..
FINDING
anything or anyone
in my writing
they lay down there
deep
and i just can find them
only with my writing

and also
i found HIM in my writing
my dearly beloved ESA
where have u been?
i found him years ago
in my writing
in my bestfriend's diary
and engaged to him untill now
but he just come to me
when i needed him
when i write

and
the reason
i still write
or at least push myself
to write
is just because
and only because
i need to find
WRITER IN MY WRITING..